User blog:Echostar/My Reponse to the Ban

"Dear Echo, given the ongoing issues, above all with Teresa Black, the Bcrats have voted 2-1 to ask you to take a six-week break from DARP, starting Monday Sept. 28. This is because your involvement of late has led to numerous difficulties, and you said originally that you would let the matter rest until November OOC. As this is a Bcrat-imposed absence, your status as an RB will not be affected, and when you return on November 8 we can discuss Teresa's future and fate. I wanted to put it this way because bans are normally for those who work to sabotage the wiki and aggressively ignore multiple warnings, which I hope and feel is not the case here. Your determination to constantly return to this subject, however, is making it hard for CK and I to get on with other business around here, and this is why we're asking you to step away for a while. If you refuse, then we will have to make it an official block and ban. Alex  Jiskran  18:28, September 26, 2015 (UTC)"

I am writing this in a blog post form instead of a PM for a few reasons. First, we haven't spoken in weeks. What would make me think that you would be willing to listen to me now, especially when it's extremely clear that you're still angry and hurt by this situation. Second, Jisk's post on my talk page was public knowledge, rather than a PM, so my response to his public statement will also be public. Third, it's time to stop the bullshit. It's time to stop dancing around this. I am keeping it on my sandbox wiki rather than posting it on the main DARP wiki to make it semi-private. I would wait longer to write this, for the anger to settle down so I can gather my thoughts and write this more calmly, but as it looks like I'll be leaving by Monday, I'd better do this now.

This message is directed towards all the b-crats, but especially towards Ck.

Wow... that message from Jisk was a huge shock. Did you want me to make me feel as angry and hurt as you did when I posted that blog, Ck? Mission accomplished.

I am angry. I am bitter. I am... sad that you seem to hate me so much that you would ban me for trying to do what's right. And I know you don't see it that way. I suppose you're just trying to get rid of a troublesome user? I don't know. But that message didn't really make it clear what exactly I did wrong. What policy did I break? Can Ck and Jisk not get work done because I keep harassing you or because Ck can't stop thinking about all the problems it supposedly caused?

I could sit here and write out all the details about the situation and why you appear to be blowing it out of proportion and etc. etc. But it won't help. I guess you won't even give me the chance to show you that I can put Teresa aside, and focus on other characters. What about the Hayden storyline? Or the fact that I wanted to try out a new character? I've been told over and over that I'm wrong, that you do trust me... but what you just did doesn't support that.

Here's my personal perspective on what you just did. Ck and I have had a huge clash over the Teresa situation. As Ck does with many things, she stressed out about it. As I do with many things, I continued to persist. Ck is a detail-oriented person who wants things done the proper way. I am a determined person (or stubborn, depending on the situation) who hates to see what I perceive as injustice.

I guess I also thought that you all wanted to see this situation be done. I agreed with you on that. It's been two weeks since I've discussed it... with anyone, really. I've avoided chat so that Ck wouldn't see me and it would bring back bad memories of all this or something. I decided to think of a way for Mary to go because of the way Ck felt I was using Mary to be manipulative. I've been focusing on the Hayden storyline. I made a new character last night. I've been rping with new people and I've been trying to find new ways to participate in DARP. I want to rp with new characters and make this website fun again for me.

And yet... I'm still banned.

I'm not saying I didn't do anything wrong. I know I did. But this really isn't fair. And I don't know if I'll be returning when the six weeks are over. And I guess you're okay with that.

I still want what's best for DARP, whether you believe it or not. And if you want me to go, I'll go. But please... just think for a second. Is my leaving what's truly best for DARP as a whole... or is it simply what's best for each of you?